Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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