on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize