and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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