the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
