so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
