So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
