you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
