Grow some girl-balls and come out already
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
