Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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