If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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