You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
