I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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