I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
