cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
