Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize