i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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