I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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