So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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