Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
