I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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