I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize