So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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