you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
