It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
