Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
