So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
