yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That's intense
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
