HIV tests are more positive than that guy
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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