It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He? As in you personified your dick?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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