I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
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Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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