Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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