You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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