Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
