A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
