I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
