my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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