She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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