So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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