btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
