We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Randomize
