No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
