can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize