I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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