1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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