He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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