ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
