508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
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