don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I woke up under a house in Key West
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
