this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
