Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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