so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
