Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
