they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
just found out that she named her cat after me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
