That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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